Addiction Issues
Does someone you love seem to be self-destructing in addictive behavior? Are you watching a spouse, son, or daughter abandon everything that was once important to them because of drugs, alcohol, sex, or some other stimulant?
An addiction or dependence is commonly defined as “a recurring compulsion to do the same thing over and over, despite harmful consequences to his health, mental state, or social life.” Are you seeing that trade-off in someone you care about—a compulsive pursuit regardless of the effects it has, especially on your relationship? If you are not seeing clear signs of addiction, are you noticing a gulf growing between you and this family member as their thoughts, time, and energy are consumed by some dominating activity? What can you do to help?
STEP ONE: Assess the Willingness to Change
Has your loved one admitted a problem and shown interest in getting help? If they have given you any sign of wanting to deal with their problem, take that opportunity to get the best of Christian counsel and direction from those most familiar with the specific addiction he or she is indulging.
If instead you are dealing with denial, you most likely will need to plan an intervention—which is an orchestrated attempt by family and friends to motivate someone to get help for their problem. An intervention is especially necessary to help stabilize the situation—to begin shielding your home from the emotional, physical, and spiritual vulnerability of an out-of-control problem.
STEP TWO: Treat Body, Mind & Spirit
Sex addiction counselor Rob Jackson tells families that the addictive behaviors they see are just the tip of the iceberg. Efforts to modify behavior might seem effective in the short-term, but can re-appear or show up in a different compulsion if underlying issues are not addressed.
Deuteronomy 6:5 says, “Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind.” Those struggling with addiction need to treat problems of the body, mind, and spirit—to go beneath the surface and deal with the thoughts, emotions, and spiritual conflicts driving those behaviors.
James 1:14 describes how dependence progresses from desire to enticement to sin and ultimately, to death. The most effective approach to recovery is to reverse that progression—to restore a right relationship with God (Romans 8:1-15), to have a clean heart (Psalm 51), to have a renewed mind (Romans 12:2), and then as a result, to bear good fruits in behavior (Romans 6:7).
STEP THREE: Find Hope in Perseverance
God is able to redeem anyone and restore them to a life characterized by self-control (Titus 2:11-14). There is hope in persevering as a family through the struggles of recovery. Romans 5:3-4 says, “We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
Your prayers ultimately come down to asking that God’s best will win out for this family member, remembering Jesus’ words: “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10).
recommended books
The Fight of Your Life
By Tim Clinton, Mark Laaser
No matter how many times you have lost the battle—you can still win the war! There’s a war going on for the souls of men. It’s reached epic levels and is threatening the very fabric of generations—grandfathers, dads, sons, and grandsons. This war is affecting you and your family. Landmines planted strategically by the enemy that are knocking our men out, destroying their souls, ruining their futures, causing destructive marriage issues, jeopardizing relationships, and taking our sons and daughters captive! The war is an all-out attack on the purpose and pleasure of sexuality as God designed it.
The Fight of Your Life offers weapons that help you overcome sexual addiction, resist the danger of pornography, enjoy healthy sexuality, and save your marriages, relationships, and families from the enemy’s assault. To win the war, you must fight the battles. Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope. And don’t think for a moment that you have disqualified yourself from the fight. You have not failed too many times—you can still win!
A Hunger for Healing
By J. Keith Miller
An exploration of the Twelve Steps and their unique benefits for Christians. In A Hunger for Healing, J. Keith Miller shares from his own journey of loss and grief and how the twelve steps of recovery from A.A. helped him find emotional and spiritual peace. Engaging and hopeful, these principles grounded in Scripture, will bring clarity to many seeking freedom from shame and the consequences of poor choices.
En Español
La Batalla de Cada Hombre
By Stephen Arterburn
La Batalla de Cada Hombre le muestra a los hombres jóvenes como entrenar sus ojos y mentes, cómo limpiar sus pensamientos, y desarrollar un plan de batalla realístico para permanecer puros en esta sociedad empapada de sexualidad. Los autores ofrecen a los jóvenes cristianos consejos prácticos y bíblicos para alcanzar pureza sexual.