Faith Path: Prepare for Adolescence
Recommended Ages: 10+
Do you remember being a teenager? Adolescence is a time of rapid growth, developmental changes, and spiritual challenges. Help your child prepare for coming changes in proactive and positive ways.
Assist Your child During times of Change
The best way to prepare your child for the changes and challenges of adolescence is to set the stage. Mom with daughter, dad with son, or a single parent with either sex should spend time giving their preadolescent child a basic understanding of what is coming before the cataclysmic transition begins. Help your child prepare for coming changes in a proactive and positive way. Here is a quick guide to the when, what, and how of that time together.
When
Often parents are concerned that they will overwhelm their preteen or encourage premature curiosity if they jump the gun in preparing them for adolescence. A greater concern, however, is the likelihood that someone else will beat you to it. Children are typically ready before their parents are at usually around eleven years old. Of course, not all children are the same. That is why it is important to spend time with your preteen getting a sense of where they are developmentally. Ask God for wisdom about the timing of your conversations.
What
You should plan to address the many areas of change your son or daughter will encounter during the transition to adulthood, especially bodily changes, decision-making, and the changing relationship with you.
- Body: It is important to frame the physical changes ahead as much more than a plea for sexual abstinence. Your son or daughter needs vision for how these internal and external changes will prepare the body for the joys of marriage and the miracle of creating new life.
- Decision-Making: Increasingly, your child will need to make and assume responsibility for his or her own decisions. As you maintain your overall family values in media choices, individual responsibilities (chores, homework, etc.), drugs and alcohol, you also need to direct your son or daughter in how to make wise decisions in areas of health and integrity. The first nine chapters of Proverbs can help guide an early teen on choosing wisdom over folly.
- Relationship With You: Consider explaining to your preteen that over the next decade your role will progressively change from a teacher to that of a coach. You will begin to guide him or her in the transition toward independence. It is also a great time to intentionally foster relationships with other Godly adults who can influence your child’s life.
How
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Set aside a special time or trip with your child to go through one of the recommended resources for joint discussion.
- Listen to the two-part audio resource "The Talk" for examples of what to say (links below).
- Create an environment for open communication for your child to share, talk, and discuss with you.
- Listen. Allow your child to share thoughts and questions without being judgmental or quick to give a lecture.
- Have fun. Your child is much more likely to listen and be open with you if you have established a good relationship by creating fun times.
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
recommended books
Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Son
By Vicky Courtney
From the cradle to college, tell your sons the truth about life before they believe the culture's lies.
For mothers with boys newborn to eighteen, 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son is simply a must-have book. Award-winning youth culture commentator Vicki Courtney helps moms and dads pinpoint and prepare the discussions that should be ongoing in a boy's formative years.
Fully addressing the dynamic social and spiritual issues and other influencers at hand, several chapters are written for each of the conversations, which are:
1. Don't let the culture define you
2. Guard your heart
3. Have a little sex respect
4. Childhood is only for a season
5. You are who you've been becoming
The book also includes questions at the end of each conversation to help facilitate individual or group study.
Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter
By Vicky Courtney
From the cradle to college, tell your daughters the truth about life before they believe the culture’s lies.
For mothers with girls newborn to eighteen, Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter is simply a must-have book. Youth culture commentator Vicki Courtney helps moms pinpoint and prepare the discussions that should be ongoing in their daughters' formative years.
To fully address the dynamic social and spiritual issues and influencers at hand, several chapters are written for each of the conversations, which are:
1. You are more than the sum of your parts
2. Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up
3. Sex is great and worth the wait
4. It’s OK to dream about marriage and motherhood
5. Girls gone wild are a dime a dozen—dare to be virtuous
The book is linked to online bonus features offering invaluable tips on having these conversations across the various stages of development: five and under, six to eleven, twelve and up.
Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens
By Paul David Tripp
Paul Tripp uncovers the heart issues that affect parents and their teenage children during the often-chaotic adolescent years. With wit, wisdom, humility, and compassion, he shows parents how to seize the countless opportunities to deepen communication and learn and grow with their teens.
So You're About to be a Teenager
By Dennis and Barbara Rainey
Do you ever wish someone would let you in on the secrets? Do you wish someone would tell you about love, dating and sex, why your parents seem so clueless, and why sometimes you just want to hide from people at school? So You're About to Be a Teenager is like a friend who isn't afraid to spill the beans about it all! When brother and sister Samuel and Rebecca Rainey were teenagers (not too long ago), they were curious about kissing, shaving, parties and pornography. They also remember feeling self-conscious, and worried about things they didn't want to talk about with anyone. Now that they've made it through their teen years, they along with their parents, who are finally cool in their eyes will talk about all those things you've been wondering about. They'll even tell you some wild things you didn't know you wanted to know. Right now, you're probably thinking of something that's been worrying your, a question you'd like answered. Maybe you've asked a friend about it, or maybe no one knows what you're dealing with. This book is full of answers. Don't believe it? Keep reading.
Emergency Response Handbook for Parents
By Group Publishing
What do you do when your child is rebellious? Or sexually active? Or suicidal? What if your children are negatively influenced by their friends? Pick up this rapid-response handbook and gain real-life scenarios, practical tips, changes you can make at home, counseling advice, relevant Scripture, and other resources for connecting with your children--and helping them get on the right path.
Raising a Modern Day Knight
By Robert Lewis
What does it mean to be a man? Moreover, how do you as a father instill that reality in your son? By Raising a Modern-Day Knight. The medieval custom of knighthood offers a unique approach to shaping a boy into a strong, godly man. Centuries ago, select boys went through a rigorous, years-long process of clearly defined objectives, goals, and ceremonies—with the hope of achieving knighthood. Along the way, they acquired a boldly masculine vision, an uncompromising code of conduct, and a noble cause in which to invest their lives. They were the heroes of their age. In much the same way, Raising a Modern-Day Knight will show how you, too, can confidently guide your son to the kind of authentic, biblical manhood that can change out world. Complete with ceremony ideas to celebrate accomplishments and ingrain them in the mind of a knight-in-training, this resource is as insightful as it is practical in raising a boy to be a chivalrous, godly man.
Preparing for Adolescence
By Dr. James Dobson
What do you say to an adolescent who's getting ready to enter those turbulent teenage years? Dr. James Dobson, one of America's leading family psychologists, knows how to speak directly and sincerely to today's adolescents about the topics that trouble them most. Topics include avoiding feelings of inferiority, handling peer pressure, drug abuse, puberty, sexual development, menstruation, masturbation, romantic love, overcoming discouragement, sound decision-making, and handling independence.
About Faith path
We believe God designed the family to be the primary disciple-making relationship. In other words, God gave parents the privilege of nurturing faith in the next generation. That’s why the Faith Path was created. It's a step-by-step plan to help you be intentional as you prepare for key faith milestones and foster spiritual disciplines in your child’s faith journey. From parent dedication to leading your child to Christ to launching your young adult, the Faith Path resources are designed to assist you in discipling your children.