Exploring Adoption
While having biological children is the typical route most married couples take, there are other ways of fulfilling the call to parenthood. Are you called to adoption?
Exploring Adoption
Should you adopt a child? Millions of children around the world need a mother and a father. Many homes seem to have something missing that adoption offers to fill. As you process feelings of hope and eagerness in your heart, the practical questions can often seem paralyzing.
“What is this going to cost?”
“Which route is best—domestic, international, or foster care?”
“Is there a chance the biological parents will complicate things?”
Exploring adoption means weighing all of your practical concerns in your head against the often inexplicable tugging of your heart. With so many significant factors to consider, where do you start?
STEP ONE: Understand God’s Heart for Orphans
It is easy to grow anxious when you explore adoption in your own limited strength and understanding. There is peace, however, in seeking to know and reflect God’s heart for adoption. You can do that by reading and meditating on verses in the Bible about adoption and care for orphans (Deuteronomy 10:18, Exodus 22:22-24, James 1:27, Job 29:1-12, Esther 2:7 & 2 Samuel 9:3). As you read these scriptures, consider setting aside time for fasting and seeking the Lord’s will for your home.As you pray, keep in mind that God may have already ordained a child for you to adopt. Consider the possibility that part of God’s plan for your home could be adopting a child who is currently with their birth parent(s) or temporarily placed in another family--whether in the next town or across the ocean.
Then consider the impact you could have in the life of a child who would not otherwise have a mother and father. How might God be leading you to change their circumstances? What kind of home and family might you be able to provide?
Seeking God’s heart for orphans will stretch your perspective. It will change the kind of cost/benefit analysis you bring to your decisions. It also can give you peace and patience for the details of adoption and can grow your trust in God’s ability to provide for you in what He is calling you to.
While seeking God’s heart for orphans, you might find yourself considering entirely different approaches to adoption. You also may discover opportunities to show care for orphans in ways other than adoption.
STEP TWO: Educate Yourself
Much about adoption has changed in the past few decades. New opportunities have emerged alongside new challenges. At the same time, various churches and non-profit ministries have expanded their support for orphans and adoption, providing a broad range of information and services about things such as federal tax benefits and financial assistance through grants available to adopting families.
One of the best ways to increase your understanding of both the head and heart issues of adoption is to spend time with others who have adopted—to hear from them the joys and challenges of each step along the way.
recommended books
Successful Adoption
By Natalie Nichols Gillespie
Successful Adoption brings a practical and spiritual view of adoption. Topics include: types of adoption, where to begin, necessary paperwork, finances required - and how to raise them, listing of reputable adoption agencies, building strong bonds with an adopted child, when and how to tell a child she is adopted. The long-term affects of adoption, God's blessing through adoption. Book includes practical checklists, timelines, real life stories, sample documents, phone numbers and web-addresses. Successful Adoption also includes real-life stories from families who have adopted, including: Steven and Mary Beth Chapman, Rita Springer, Dave Thomas, Karen Kingsbury and Donna Van Liere.
Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family
By David and Renee Sanford
Adoption is a high calling from God, and the Christian home primary soil for planting seeds of faith. But how will post-adoption challenges affect this growth? Most agencies do a great job of connecting families with children who need a forever family. Not many prepare you for the unexpected issues—an adopted child fighting with his new siblings or not wanting to be touched or showing signs of reactive attachment disorder (RAD). The more you know, the more confident you will be to meet the unique needs of your adopted child and your entire family. This distinctly Christian book will equip readers to be successful adoptive parents. Packed from cover to cover with information, advice, ideas, and resources, Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family will inspire and inform parents committed to making adoption work. Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family is the one parenting resource that provides comprehensive, topical, Bible-based solutions for the inevitable challenges after adoption.
Orphanology
By Tony Merida, Rick Morton
Orphanology unveils the grassroots movement that’s engaged in a comprehensive response to serve hundreds of millions of orphans and “functionally parentless” children. You’ll see a breadth of ways to care with biblical perspective and reasons why we must. Heartwarming, personal stories and vivid illustrations from a growing network of families, churches, and organizations that cross culture show how to respond to God’s mandate. The book empowers: churches to plan preaching, teaching, ministering, missions, funding adoption, supporting orphans; individuals and families to overcome challenges and uncertainties; every believer to gain insights to help orphans in numerous ways. Discover how to adopt, assist orphans in transition, engage in foster care, partner with faith-based fostering agencies, or become orphan hosts. Along with their families’ adoption stories, Merida and Morton give steps for action and features on churches doing orphan ministry, faith-based children’s homes, orphan-hosting groups, and other resources.